His never ending embrace

Psalm 42:8

But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, 

and through each night i sing his songs,

 Praying to God who gives life.

I love to compare my heavenly father to my earthy father.

My daddy and I  are very close and similar. We can talk for hours or just sit and watch baseball. Something that my dad has always done is he has always makes sure I know that he loves me. 

I remember as a child I could at any moment crawl up into my daddy’s lap and he would willingly hold me. He never turned me down. He was always willing to stop something so that we could talk, and he still is. He will do anything to make sure that my needs are met, and that I know he loves me. 

It has taken me years to realize that the Lord is the exact same. The Lord does not want to condemn you or push you away, He wants to hold you, love you, sweep you off your feet and tell you how He wants the best for you. For so many years I always looked to man for approval and love, but the Lord has completely turned my heart around so that I am not falling in love with men, but I am falling in love with my creator, my first love. He will never push you away from His love. Just like my earthy father does, He will be there for anything that you need.
It was hard for me to think of God as my lover. I mean, He’s my dad, my creator, my advice giver, not my lover. It was such a weird and hard thought to wrap my mind around. 

As always though, the Lord showed me how to see it in a way that I could understand(He tends to do that to me, and its always amazing). I realized that when you’re in a relationship, you will literally do anything for that person, because you care about them. You want them to be pleased with you and proud of you. You don’t want them to be ashamed of you and you just want to enjoy your time with them. You will spend hours on end just telling each other how cute they are or how much you love them. 

The Lord wants the same thing. He wants to spend time with you and tell you how beautiful and amazing you are, to just tell you how He is proud of you.

Song of Solomon 4:10a “ Your love delights me”

 A good friend told me that whenever the Lord speaks to me its like the Lord telling me that He loves me and thinks that I am beautiful... That shook me. I was stunned by the fact the Lord wanted me to know that I was beautiful all the time, that He loved me more than I can even imagine. 

Trying to convince myself that I didn’t need a MAN to tell me that I was beautiful, but I only needed my heavenly father to tell me, was a hard thing to do. I have almost always had insecurities about myself. I was never the girl that all the guys wanted to date, and I wasn't the girl every other girl wanted to be. Those were all lies that I believed that I needed in order to be a beautiful woman.  In the end, when I finally believed that I did not need mans approval, it was amazing. It was a wonderful revelation. I did not feel like I needed anyones approval. I just wanted to be the woman the Lord has created me to be. I wanted to be beautiful, but all that mattered was if He thought I was beautiful, which of course He does because he created me.

Song of Solomon 1:15 “How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful!” 

The Lord has been taking me through a season in my life and I am constantly learning new things. The Lord is having me read these four amazing books, When God writes your love story, When dreams come true, Extravagant Worship, and Free to be me. These books are amazing! I’m only on the second one, Free to be me, but it seems like every line was made for this time in my life! Like the book was not written for anyone else but me. 

He has also been taking me through Song of Solomon. Now, that book is a hard book to read and not think of it as two lovers. But the Lord is teaching me how to read it as how He feels about his children, how he feels about me. You have to change your view completely, thinking about how beautiful and perfect you are in the Lords eyes. He doesn’t look at your flaws. The Lord isn’t sitting up on his throne talking to Jesus about how I just can’t seem to learn this or that. He wants to help me. He wants to teach me new things so that I can live a fruitful life.

The Lord is so good at showing His love. He loves to love on us. He wants to hold us. The Lord wants us to lean on Him, not some man. He always wants to be the arms that we run into. 

The Lord will never give up on me, He will never give up on you. He always wants to help you and lift you up and put you back on your feet. His arms are forever faithful, all you have to do is trust Him. 

Grace Abounding

Proverbs 31:10b

She is worth far more than rubies. 

I have grown up in a loving home. In a home where we don't fight or hit, but we had to sit on the couch & hold hands until we were done being mad. A father that was stern when needed to be, but a best friend, listener, advice giver, & just a dad. A mother that was always loving and willing to sing a song at any moment, a mother where if you had any need at all she would do everything she could just so you could be served. Three siblings that would leave their friends to play with you when you had none, teach you how to tie your shoes, or sing disney songs with. 

Growing up in such a wonderful family you would assume that the baby of the family would feel all that love & never have a care in the world, but the opposite was true. I struggled with my identity, my worth, my beauty, & feeling loved. 

Although I have always had a family that will listen or hold you when you cry, there were many times when all I wanted to do was run away & do what I believed was right. To go against everything I believed & just satisfy myself for the moment. Not looking at what could effect me later on in life. Because I let myself choose those decisions so many times, it took me down a road where I had to deal with wanting to be wanted, or loved. Although, I had people that loved me, a LORD that loved me, I didn’t want it, I wanted the kind of love that worldly people wanted. I wanted to live in a material world. I wanted to be cool, look good & be everyones favorite. That didn’t happen.

When high school hit life became more complicated. There was so much more to live up to in the world. I had to like a guy all the time, I had to wear this, look like that, do those things(Obviously their all lies). I cannot tell you how many times I have cried over not being pretty, how weird & different I was from all the other girls. Crying over the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend or because I just wanted everyone to want to be my friend. There was so much of me that needed to be found. There was so much I needed to learn about the Lord. The Lord tried to teach me so much in my high school years, but I chose to ignore it. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. 

So many times I had been told that I was a princess, I was special & God has a huge plan for my life. I believed it, sort of. I did not know how to fully comprehend how God could really love me & always love me. How I a little girl that never knew what decision to make could be HIS princess, it just made no sense to me. 

High school was definitely a struggle, but the Lord brought amazing people into my life to speak to me. There were so many teachers that would say the same thing over & over again, & all we did was ignore them, but one day what they said to me really hit home. I had already graduated, but it was like the Lord brought everything they taught me back to my memory. 

I am a PRINCESS of the highest King in history. I am His. He Loves me. He wants to hold me while I cry. He wants to always be there for me. He wanted me to trust Him so I could have a wonderful life. He wants to be my strength. He wants to be my lover, & my father. God wanted the best for me & nothing else. 

I was star struck & finally believed that He really, truly, did care. It was the best feeling I have ever felt. Knowing that even though I did not make all the right decisions, I could start now. I may have fallen off track with God a lot, but He was still there, waiting with His arms wide open ready to hold me, not tell me all the things I did wrong, but just love me. It was amazing. I was overwhelmed. 

Knowing that God’s grace extends to even a small little girl who only wants to be a princess is astounding to me everyday. I am so thankful for His love and Grace. 

I won’t say I don’t have those hard days when I feel ugly, or unloved, but I always know that if I go running back into Gods arms, He will grab ahold of me & never let me go. To always know that in God’s eyes I am worth more than even rubies, is amazing. I now put my confidence, my self-worth, and my future in God’s hands. 

Woman of God

Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
      and she laughs without fear of the future.


I have wanted to write a blog for quite some time, but always  told myself that I did not write eloquently enough for that. I convinced myself that it was at least worth a try, because I may not be the best writer, but I enjoy writing & sharing my thoughts.

In this blog 'Becoming the real me' I will share things that the Lord has been sharing with me. I am learning more & more everyday how to become a prudent woman, Proverbs 31 woman & a princess of the highest King. It's a tough thing to learn. I am learning that there isn't a Princess who does not have a prince some where. 

Something the Lord told me one time, "I am preparing a wonderful prince for you my princess. He is not ready for you, & you are not ready for him. When he comes, you will know & you will be ready. But until that time I will prepare you, so when you finally get to be with him you will be fully prepared & ready for your one & only prince".

This reminds of me of the ten virgins. When it is time for anything in our lives, we need to be prepared or we will not be able to experience all that the Lord has for us. The only way to be prepared for the will of God is to learn all that the Lord has to teach us before it happens. 

Being a woman of the Lord is a hard thing to accomplish, it means always choosing the wise decision, thinking of others before you think of yourself, & always going down God's path for your life, not your own.

I hope that I won't only be speaking my mind & sharing the things the Lord has said to me, but I hope that I can speak into other women's lives so that they too will be able to be all that the Lord has made them so that they too can become the real me.